This Week:
Sex, Power
and Intimacy
Inscribing
Gender on the Body
Read: Chapters 4 and Chapter 5
View: Video 3
Write: (2) Blog Entries
Chapter 3:
Learning Gender
The key concepts in Chapter 3 include sex, gender, intersex,
sissy, tomboy, femininity, masculinity, gender assignment, gender identity,
gender expression, gender performance, biology, culture, gender socialization,
intersectionality, androgyny, transgender, genderqueer, cisgender,
transsexuals, double bind, superwoman, gender ranking and stratification and systems
of inequality and privilege. You should emerge from this chapter with an
understanding of the distinction between sex and gender. Further, your studies
will allow you to understand the concepts of gender assignment, gender
identity, and gender expression.
For your reference, I have attached a link to the
Transgender Law and Policy Institute.
July 9: Sex, power and intimacy question
Define
in your words what is meant by the “politics of sexuality.” How does what we
know about gender help us understand the politics of sexuality? What are the
consequences for women and men in heterosexual relationships?
July 11: Gender and the
body question
What
does “beauty” have to do with power in society? Give examples of this
phenomenon?
Question 1:
ReplyDeleteI believe that the politics of sexuality is very similar to double standards in a relationship. Politics of sexuality is when two people come together in a romantic relationship, in this relationship they bring with them their status in society outside of the relationship. In society men are generally viewed as having more power; in the relationship there may be an inequality of power thus the woman may feel subservient to the man. Double standards in a relationship is when a man can do more things than a woman; a man may go out and have fun and no one in society looks on and thinks he did something wrong, but if a woman was to do the same she may be ostracized for it. In both politics of sexuality and double standards the man has more power in the relationship than the woman.
Gender is the social organization of sexual difference. Society holds the masculine gender above the feminine gender. Society also holds, heterosexuality above homosexuality. What society views as the greater gender or the greater relationship helps us understand the politics of sexuality, because society puts so much importance on one than the other it is easier to understand why people speak out for equality among everyone. Everyone wants an equal distribution among power in relationships.
In heterosexual relationships women may face consequences such as, being called a “slut” if they initiate sex, spending large amounts of energy, time, and money on maintaining romantic love, and giving up friends for a romantic relationship. On the other hand men may face consequences such as, being reserved about interpersonal issues and relying on a woman for emotional needs. Masculine and feminine scripts are roles that an individual takes on in a relationship and this dictates how they are supposed to act and feel as sexual individuals. The script a person chooses to act upon comes with consequences that they may experience when they face a situation that is not in the guidelines of their sexual script.
I said the same thing about double standards. Society has assigned roles to men and women that cannot be violated. If they should be, the women are called sluts, whores, etc. Where as men are "just being men". I find it very silly honestly. It makes us women look so bad, even if that wasn't the intention. Great points on the consequences of heterosexual relationships as well.
DeleteI love how well rounded your examples of the consequences of relationships was. We often tend to focus so much on the impact on females that we forget men also suffer gender role issues. You are totally right about men being too reserved or not being able to express their sensitivity. The stereotype of being tough or "manly" can be just as harsh as a women being thought of as weak or overly emotional.
DeleteAn older male friend of mine told that " a key that can open any lock is a master key.. but a lock that can be opened by any key is useless"... HA! Talk about double standards. Unfortunately, they are present everywhere, and I highly doubt that males will ever be accepting that women are just as interested in sex as they are (even to the extent of wanting multiple partners) because that would mean acknowledging that maybe she's sleeping around with other men because HE doesn't satisfy HER, not that she's a slut. The day that a man is cool with saying he's impotent or lame int bedroom game will be the day that we see these double standards go away lol. Great insight on your post!!
DeleteVery great post! Your examples were very well! Just like Perri said, we sometimes forget that men also suffer from gender role issues. Double standards are such a huge problem with men and women and it is all because of the society that we live in. Because of society, men aren't considered manly if they show their feelings and become emotional. Another great example Nicole used was when she talked about women being called sluts for wanting sex. Again, great post!
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ReplyDeleteThere are politics in sexual relationships because they occur in the context of a society that assigns power based on gender and other systems of inequality and privilege. To me, this means that two members from society that have different status’ come together which creates a relationship with unequal power.
Gender is a learned performance that shapes the experience of intimacy in any given setting. Our society places the masculine gender at a more higher importance that the feminine gender. This allows relationships to have unequal power because the male is able to somewhat control the female. The way society has conditioned us to think that males should have more power in the relationship than females is a great example of how previous information about gender can help us understand the politics of sexuality.
When heterosexual intimacies are grounded in unequal power relationships, it becomes more and more difficult for women and men to love in healthy ways. Heterosexism is maintained by the illusion that heterosexuality is the norm. The public plays a huge role in maintaining this illusion by displaying heterosexual intimacy is seen on the Internet, on billboards, magazine covers, television shows, and in the movies.
Women often face many consequences when they are involved in a heterosexual relationship. A great example the book talks about is women as a social group seem to be more likely than men to make sense of sexual encounters in terms of the amount of intimacy experienced. This becomes a rationale for sex. Men as a social group seem more easily to accept sex for its own sake, and are able to have no emotional strings attached. Also, in heterosexual relationships, sexual scripts tend to encourage men to be more sexually dominant. Whenever a woman comes off as sexually dominate, they are labeled by society as a slut.
The politics of sexuality are socially conformed, just as gender. This phrase, to me, means that in heterosexual or homosexual relationships, certain roles must be performed. What I mean by this is, just as the text states, baggage is brought in the relationship from both parties. However, the double standards and the “norms” of society makes one of the other partners (usually the guy) the “right” person, by default. According to the book, there are “politics in sexual relationships because they occur in the context of a society that assigns power based on gender and other systems of inequality and privilege.” In our society, as described in chapter 3 with femininity and masculinity, men take the dominant role.
ReplyDelete“A woman sees herself through the eyes of men, or a particular man and strives to live up to his image of who she should be.” This is a large problem in heterosexual relationships. Women let men make them, or break them. Relationships should be about compromise, give or take, and equality. However, there are some cases in which a man speaks and his woman uses his words as law. This is how society has made the “normal” relationships look. This is where the improper “distribution of power in sexual relationships” comes from. Women are supposed to prepare a man’s meals, wash his clothes, clean his home, raise his children, all while maintaining a full-time job. However, men are only tasked with being the economic providers for their family. This is unequal and goes back to the discussion of gender (inequality and privilege).
In conclusion, we see that there will always be an imbalance, even in the deemed “normal” modern heterosexual relationships. Politics of sexuality causes this imbalance due to social contexts of gender.
I just really loved your post. Your view on how relationships should run is very similar to mine. Equality is the key, and what the world has been in need of the entire time. The quote you incorporated about women seeing themselves through a mans eyes is so thought provoking. Not only does it explain why women are so self conscious but it also supports the theory of male dominance in relationships by giving them all the power.
DeleteI agree, no matter what baggage someone has outside of their relationship, both partners should treat eachother with equality. I also agree that with a man being more dominant and usually the woman relies on the man financially the woman is subservient and she tries to live up to the image the man has for her. For women to overcome this discrimination society has a whole will have to change just like you said. When society changes their views on gender roles then relationships will have a chance at having an equal distribution of power.
DeleteI have seen so many men and women subject themselves to these people that speak words into law, simply because they are afraid to be alone. I think that that are social restraints placed on what roles people should be playing in relationships, but there is an even greater stigma against being single!! Somewhere, we missed the mark in telling people that "single is not a dirty word", it just means that you are not married. It does not mean being lonely. Once people realize this, they may be more apt to waiting for someone who believes in equality in a relationship and not settling for the first thing that looks like a sure thing.
DeletePolitics of sexuality to me refers to the social constraints and "hidden" limitations to being in a relationship. This relationship can be heterosexual or homosexual. The ideas behind it are the same; everyone has a role to play and they must play it accordingly or be placed underneath a microscope to figure out why they want to be different from everyone else. Since the days of The Bible, it has always been misconstrued that a woman must submit to her husband in the terms where submission meant that he owned her and she fell in his shadow. This faulty biblical translation has led to years of the woman being treated as property and in many levels an invalid that is incapable of making any decisions herself other than what meal to prepare for the evening. However, no one bothered to read the verses above and below where it tells the husband and wife to submit to one another and that the husband should love his wife as God loved the church; we pick and choose what fits our agenda. Because of malicious thought processes like these being passed down the generations, we still have this thinking today in relationships. The man is supposed to run the home and he is especially awarded this "power" if he makes more money than the wife. The man is supposed to be a fearless protector of the family, and allowed to fornicate outside of the marriage every now and then with understanding because "boys will be boys". BUT... as for women, it's not quite the same. Now, my one of love languages might be acts of service, but that doesn't mean that I want to be vacuuming, cooking, and cleaning all day as it is thought that women should be doing in a relationship. If a man were single, he would have to do these things as well, correct? Why then, can we not help one another and alternate or, if you see that I am tired, meet me half way by throwing the laundry in the machine; I'll start it. Aside from things like this, another sexual issue in these relationships is the expectation of the woman/man to always have sex with her male/female counterpart. Sometimes, you just don't feel like it and society would have you believe that "what you won't do, another woman/man will"; instead of your mate should and will respect your wishes to just want to cuddle some nights. These issues cause rifts between relationships because of a struggle for power/dominance and often separation physically or emotionally because of a lack of sexual intimacy. All of which I think could be fixed or salvaged if we kept society's thoughts out of our homes.
ReplyDeleteDouble standards are certainly an aspect of the politics of sexuality. The politics of sexuality encompasses the ever-changing and ever-altering elements in society that direct perception of an individual's role in society and socially expected and constructed norms for an individual based on their gender, sex, or sexual or romantic preference. When two people then engage in a relationship, there are certain power dynamics at play due to these politics of sexuality, dynamics that work within and surrounding a relationship. Working from the inside, these dynamics and politics can alter one's sense of self, most typically, due to the power assigned primarily and most foremost to men by our society, a woman's in a heterosexual relationship, where she is expected to completely complement her man, but only insofar as she moulds herself to fit him. From the outside, these dynamics and politics tend to favor certain outcomes of, for example, legal marital conflicts, such as divorce and custody battles, and further, ensures "masculine" preferential treatment to the more masculine of male personalities in anything from financial, career-related, or other aspects of standard American life affecting or effected by the presence of an individual's partner in said aspects. Further, the masculine and feminine scripts construct a sort of basic job responsibilities list for the role of a "masculine" or "feminine" persona in a relationship, hetero or homosexual. These scripts serve as the basic interpersonal expectations of one to another in a relationship, as society has vocalized. The presence of these scripts allow the sentiment that, instead of treating another person expressly as another human, and not a man or a woman, a person views their significant other as a man or woman, and simply memorizes the script that dictates the generic roadmap to serving said man or woman in your role as their significant other in a relationship. This creates a society of people only interacting with other person by script, and not genuinely, and certainly without consideration for their inherent humanhood.
ReplyDeleteQuestion 2:
ReplyDeleteOur culture and society is male dominated. Men dominate the way society thinks and they dominate the business aspect of society. Basically men decide what is “beautiful”. The perfect woman’s body is fabricated by a male dominated culture and is reinforced by multi-billion dollar industries.
In contemporary U.S. society we are surrounded by portrayals of female “beauty” thus making it more significant in women’s lives. Physical appearance has become so important to women that they feel the need to perfect and express their beauty. Society’s “beauty” ideals reflect various relations of power in society. Three examples of the power of beauty in society are, the make-up industry, the plastic surgery industry, and the fashion industry. These three examples are multi-billion dollar industries that have enough power to set trends, create options and enforce the standards of “beauty”. Although women have choices they choose to buy make-up instead of going for the natural look, they get reconstructive surgery done to fix an insecurity, and they follow the latest fashion trends because of the pressure by our culture to be what is considered “beautiful”. The pressure to be beautiful has so much power over women it can also be taken too far and lead to serious illnesses. One illness may be eating disorders. Some women develop these in order to fulfill the standard of being thin.
Whether someone develops an eating disorder or not women are all guilty of conforming to the pressures and the power society has over us to be “beautiful”. I buy and wear make-up to my myself feel beautiful and I buy clothes that are popular and I go to the gym everyday in order to feel thin; this is how our culture has dominated and made beauty a power industry.
I completely agree with the statement in your post about the pressure to be beautiful leading to illness. The way society thinks we should look has driven many young women to bulimia, anorexia, compulsive eating disorders, and unfortunately committing suicide. And the sad part about it is that some women are getting paid to do these things. For example, models. This is how they make their living. So unfortunate. Loved your post. (Sorry for the late response, I'm at work)
DeleteQuestion #2
ReplyDeleteEach society has their own definition of what is considered beautiful. What is considered beautiful is culturally produced and changes across different cultures and historical periods. But no matter what society you are in, beauty ideals is that such ideals reflect various relations of power in society. Culture is constructed in complex ways, and groups with more power and influence tend to set the trends, create the options, and enforce the standards. It is found that beauty standards are very much connected to the production and consumption of various products, and, indeed, the beauty product and fashion industries are multi-billion-dollar enterprises. Beauty ideals reflect white, abled, and middle-class standards. Such standards of beauty can humiliate fat or non-white women as well as the poor, the aged, and the disabled. These norms help enforce racism, classism, ableism, ageism, and fat oppression, as well as sexism generally. In society, beauty does matter. No matter how many people tell you that looks aren’t important, they really are. Even though it’s harsh to say, people do judge a book by its cover. Society has conditioned us to believe that “pretty people” have it better. They are more successful at finding jobs and fitting in with society. More times than others, a person will judge you based off of your outer appearance before they even get to know you. Seeing ourselves through the eyes of others impairs women’s body image. This leads to young girls being sexualized and objectified. This can make the average woman self conscious about their body, making them feel that their body is a project that must be altered before they can attract others. Women then think they need surgeries in order to help them look better and fit in with society. The high pressure that is placed on women to be beautiful is revolting and I really think that things need to change in our society in order to help create healthier lifestyles for women.
We live in a society today where people are judged on their looks, and no matter what people tell you beauty is important. A lot of women do feel self conscious about their bodies when they don't look like models and people on tv. Good post!
DeleteAbsolutely on point! It's outrageous that people think you've got to be a size 0 in order to be beautiful. Marilyn Monroe was an American sex symbol and still is to this day. She was a size 16!! But no one ever talks about that part.... Beauty comes in all forms... You've just got to be willing to place aside ignorance to see it
DeleteBeauty is defined differently by different ethnic and cultural groups. “Slender, large-breast type is still the standard of beauty to which most women aspire.” This may be true in the Caucasian ethnic group, however, in the African-American community larger hips and small waists may be considered beautiful. This is only an analogy to show the difference in what we, as people, may deem beautiful. Just as the text states in the third paragraph of the “’Beauty’ Ideal” passage, “Culture is constructed in complex ways, and groups with more power and influence tend to set the trends, create the options, and enforce the standards.” This is the power trip that society has created! Let me address the BIG elephant sitting in the corner. The Caucasian ethnic group is deemed dominant (or the majority), and their way seems to be the right way of life. Beauty should not be defined by the standards set by any one ethnic group or culture. “Beauty ideals reflect white, abled and middle-class standards. Such standards of beauty can humiliate fat or non-white women as well as the poor, aged, and disabled.” It’s sad that society has the power to tell us if we are beautiful or not. A lot of this power comes as direct result of the ability to buy products that men (and women) have made that define us as “beautiful”. They capitalize off of making us feel one or two ways: beautiful because we buy their product or ugly because we can’t. This shouldn’t be happening. The consumption of these products has a direct influence on our outlook on life, as women. I have heard women say that they cannot leave their house without putting on makeup because people will not recognize them without it or women that will starve themselves because they are 3 pounds heavier than their “recommended” body weight. Beauty is defined from within, and nobody should be able to tell you differently. Love yourself first, and others will follow.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you on mentioning that not all cultures value the same body type. Its very true that men of different backgrounds look for different prominent traits. Have you seen the buzz feed article relating to this exact topic? Its pretty interesting to see what "beauty" means worldwide. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikerose/beauty-standards-around-the-world
DeleteGood post! Every woman is shaped differently and they should be proud of the body type they have. Also a woman shouldn't feel like she needs make up to look beautiful, some men like women better with no make up on. However society has set these standards that women should wear make up and have a smaller waist with larger breasts. I agree women need to love the body they have and others will follow!
Delete"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". We've all heard that quote. And while I completely believe it to be true, I also think that the object of such beauty holds all the power. I've read somewhere that it takes an average of 7.5 seconds for a human to decide if they like someone or not. So in less than 8 seconds, someone has already judged the type of person you are by nothing less than your appearance and the few words you were able to mutter out in that short time. No one could possibly make and informed judge of character that quickly, but your looks are fair game. In this way it seems that humans are almost innately decisive due to appearance. And because of this everyone has certain routines or tasks that they go through, and sometimes for extensive periods of time, just so that we may take on this beauty that society has defined. We all do this day in and day out for two reasons, the admiration and approval of others and, of course, the power.
ReplyDeleteIf terms such as pretty or ugly didn’t exist, there would be no need for insecurity. Without the idea of “beauty” there would be no longing for approval that exists so vividly today. So that leads to the power. Think about it, which guy are you going to approach at the bar, the good-looking or the ugly one? Which are you going to pick as your vacation spot, somewhere with beautiful views or a small run down city? Exactly, the more appealing to the eye is always the option we tend to lean towards. This is why we spend hundreds of dollars on make up and clothes, why we get so dressed up for first dates or job interviews, and unfortunately why sometimes the boundaries we set for obtaining beauty are broken (eating disorders, plastic surgery, stealing beauty products, etc.). An example that sticks so clearly in my head for this topic is the mother-daughter duo of Celia and Isabelle in the showtime series Weeds. Isabelle is the overweight daughter and Celia is the mother who blatantly makes rude comments about her daughters weight in public. She goes to other extreme lengths such as switching chocolate with laxatives and referring to her daughter as “Isa-belly”. While she may seem cruel and way to harsh (which she is), in one episode she explains that all she wants is for her daughter to be beautiful so that the world is her oyster. She knew that more opportunities are automatically available to the people of beauty and this has proven to be true multiple times in the real world.
I have never heard that it takes an average of 7.5 seconds for a human to decide if they like someone or not. That is insane! I really like your example with the show Weeds. I have never personally watched it, but several of my friends tell me about it. Its sad that women put so much pressure on each other to look "beautiful."
DeleteIn many cases, being beautiful helps people get what they want and when they want it. I hear several men say that pretty women can get out of any ticket if they just bat their eyes or show some cleavage. I think the best example of how beauty and power coincide with each other is through the show “The Real Housewives” (probably one of the most watched shows by women.) Most of these women are very wealthy and look very plastic because of all the cosmetic surgery they have had done over the years. Most of them are very thin, and have bodies that women “dream” they could have. These women have so much power because our society idolizes their appearance. I’m not sure if I am making any sense, but I hope you see what I mean. Not all, but many of them are beautiful, so they were able to marry wealthy men. These women then can afford nice clothing, the best trainers, and the best plastic surgeons. Then these women are on TV, so they are now famous, and have the power to set “trends.” The book taught us how industries have turned into multi-billion-dollar companies from selling beauty products such as foundations, lipsticks, blushes, eyeliner, etc. Companies like these have so much power because they advertise that women need these products to be “beautiful.” Most of these products that are made come from companies owned by men. It’s crazy to me how men have so much authority over what is considered a beautiful woman.
ReplyDeleteBeauty has much to do with power in our society, unfortunately. It dictates the standards of what is gauged to be healthy, how merchandise is often advertised through the media, and so much more. Much of this power is only seen as culture changes though. Here, a woman with big breasts may be glorified, but if you take a trip over to Africa you will see women topless and people walk around as if there's nothing going on. Beauty in our western civilization makes people second guess themselves. Some of their parts are too small, while others may be too big. There is such a rush to be thin when some people being thin are also grossly malnourished so they suffer from life threatening debilities. The same is true for men. So many commercials taunting them about bigger being better, but at the same time preaching in closets that you should love yourself the way you are. A lot of these standards of beauty use middle classes of ethnicities that other races could never measure up to if they tried. I'm black. My hair is naturally curly and sometimes wry coarse. Society will have you think that I should perm my hair to make it straight to be "beautiful". I do no such thing. I keep my hair all natural and everything else too!! I think the people that conform to these ideals are really powerless and if it ever came down to making an idea that came from their own heads, they wouldn't have a clue where to begin because they've just gone with the flow for so long....
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